I kept expecting the girls to hit me with more questions, but
days turned to weeks, and weeks turned into months. Seemingly my explanation
and information that day satisfied their curiosities about Tyrian. I did dig
out the picture I had of us together and let them have it. It now hung in their
room.
Because they had an excellent father in Syrah, I was ashamed
to admit I never imagined what life was like for them to be different. It was
family day at school that brought the issue to light for them. Kids could sadly
be cruel.
Their inquiry gave me a moment of reflection and I’d briefly
considered trying to find Tyrian. Maybe they needed to meet him. When I’d
spoken to Syrah about it, he’d said he supported whatever decision I made.
Biology or not, the girls were his as much as Rosie was, but he wouldn’t stand
in the way if I or they wanted a reconnection.
In the end I decided no. The girls hadn’t asked again, and I didn’t bring it up to them. It was probably the coward’s way, but they had two loving parents that adored them. I also knew in the back of my mind I wasn’t ready to face Tyrian again. Sure years had passed, but seeing him again, I worried if that small part of me that continued to hold on to what we shared would take over a bigger piece of my heart.
It was crazy. I had a loving husband, three wonderful
children, I should have been over a fleeting teenage affair. Correction I was…I
was over it. So as the girls carried on with life, I did the same.
“Dinner smells great,” Syrah kissed my cheek before calling
the girls to eat.
We settled at the table and I smiled seeing my family. I had
a life I’d thought would only live in my dreams. A partner that loved me,
wonderful children, and the freedom to paint til my heart was content.
“I was thinking,” Syrah stated. “I have some time off, why
don’t we do something? Camping maybe.”
“Ewww, camping. Bugs, and dirt, and bugs.” Iris scrunched up
her nose at the idea and Lilac nodded her head in agreement.
“It could be fun guys.” I tried to sound excited, but frankly
shared their thoughts.
“It will be. My dad used to take me and your aunt all the
time. I can teach you guys to fish, we’ll have smores. And promise I’ll rent a
cabin, we won’t rough it too much.”
A week later we were at a large cabin with the girls
complaining only a little. The downside was it rained nearly nonstop for our
weekend, but it was a great time with Syrah giving the girls some extra
attention. I didn’t know if maybe he did have some feelings over the fact
they’d asked about Tyrian. Like somehow he felt he’d let them down. He’d been
working a lot before that so maybe he was feeling guilty over not being around
as much.
Or maybe I was projecting my own feelings and making way more
out of some much needed family quality time. The weekend was lovely and getting
away was just what we all needed.
Monday rolled around, the twins were at school, Syrah was off
at work and Rosie was down for her nap. It was that peaceful hour I looked
forward to for getting some uninterrupted painting done. Until the doorbell rang.
“Hello, Beautiful.”
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